I Hate That Frickin' Todd CD

by Melissa McIvor

Having recently purchased the One Long Year CD and played it almost to death since then, my husband finally threatened to divorce me if I didn't shut the **darned** thing off for a while. Which led me to pen the following by way of a tribute to TR and an apology to my husband. I then proceeded to play the CD a few more times and threw on some of the old vinyl for good measure! My husband has been spending a lot of time in the garage lately...

The reason that she bought it
Is the reason that I hate it
It’s got a hook that keeps her baited
Seems she just cannot be sated
And my darling wife has locked me
Into a TV Dinner monotony
Because some rocker dude has blocked me out
And I wait
And I wait

And I hate that frickin’ Todd CD
Even worse - those battered old LPs
And I’ll never get back, never get back
The time that I wait
And that’s what I hate...

It’s just so hard to swallow
That she ignores me for this fellow
I’m tired of living in this squalor
And she’s developed quite a pallor
She’s got no time left to vaccuum
And there is nothing left to consume
I just had to clean my own bathroom
And dinner’s so late
‘Cause she’s late...

And I hate that frickin’ Todd CD
She ain’t got no free time left for me
And I’ll never get back, never get back
The time that she wastes
And that’s what I hate...

She’s had that CD on now
For twenty hours straight
I’m a patient husband but that’s
As much as I can take
And now she’s cut me off and
Spent her weekly take home pay
[on more Todd stuff...]
And now I hate it, I hate it
I hate I hate I hate I hate

I hate that frickin’ Todd CD
She’s had her headphones on for the last three weeks
And I’ll never get back, never get back
The time that she wastes
And that’s what I hate...