I'm Leaving

I still recall just what my mama said
"You need an old-fashioned girl who makes breakfast in bed"
And you are that and everything
But then I must confess
The bacon is burnt, and the eggs are a mess

That's why I'm leaving the garden
I'm sorry, but I have to go
Oh darling, I'm sorry, but I have to

Everything about you is as good as it gets
You know just how I like it, especially the sex
I should be happy as a king
I would make you my wife
But you can't even boil water to save your own life
Or you could maybe learn to fry up some SPAM
Don't know a pot from a pan

Well right now my lovin' isn't on the table
We gotta make it up as we go along
Now that my lovin' isn't on the table
We gotta make it on up, make it on up, oh

One of us has got to learn to work in the kitchen
But at this rate we’ll starve to death
And that's why I'm bitchin'
That's why I'm bitchin' baby
That's why I'm bitchin' yeah
That's why I'm bitchin' baby
That's why I'm bitchin' yeah